Skip to main content

Bottomdecking: Jabbertoad

Decision: Should you play Jabbertoad?

Image Blatantly Stolen from Can You Roll a Crit?
 Author's Note: Bottomdecking is a  series of short articles where we examine bad choices that are made by reasonable people - please note that this is not meant as an indictment of any person, it's the cards that are bad, not the people.  Mostly, Bottomdecking articles are a fun way for me to cut my workload while I'm busy with real life stuff (Getting ready for LVO, in this case), and hopefully cause a couple of people to chuckle along the way.


C'mon.  No.

Factor: Crunch

Right out of the gate, the math on this batrachian projectile is quite poor.  It's only doing 0.7037 damage per unblocked use to begin with.  When we factor in defense rolls, this number gets worse.  Against the ever increasing tide of 2-dodge models, for example, Kermit is going to miss more than half the time, resulting in 0.48 damage per average use.  For comparison, if you were to use Shadeglass Darts instead, you're getting an average damage per use of 0.79 against 2-dodge models (better than frog-ball's average damage without any defense!).  

"But throwing Jeremiah gives you knockback!" a random waffle-cone of a human being shouts from the 4th row.  Yes, of course it does.  And knockback definitely has its uses - in particular it's great for keeping enemy models away from your own so that you can lock down objective tiles.  So for that awesome Mollog objective deck waiting in the wings to take the 2020 world championship, definitely put in Jabbertoad.  This just in - we are being told now that three of the four models in Mollog's Mob can't hold objectives.  Unfortunate.

The restriction of this card to Mollog's Mob is bad enough, but having it be Mollog-only is even worse.  First, Mollog already has knockback.  Second, of all the folks you want to keep bad guys away from, Mollog is probably last on the list.  Even knockback 1 will move an adjacent model out of Mollog's reach, rendering the hate-troll machine inert unless he can move closer.  Finally, Mollog has options for at least two objectively better ranged attacks in the form of Dark Darts and Shadeglass Darts.

Oh and one more thing!  The frog goes away even if you miss (which you will, at least 30% of the time).  Even the fragile Shadeglass weapons only broke on a hit.  Faneway Crystal and Potion of Rage go away when you use them, but they also provide some of the most powerful effects in the game; not an underwhelming attack with average accuracy and poor damage.  Thematically, I get it; you can't throw the frog more than once, but mechanics-wise that sucks the moon right out of the sky.  Speaking of thematics...

Factor: Fluff

Why does throwing Jeremiah do as much damage as a magical lightning-charged pistol?  Or a "goreaxe"?  I don't know what a goreaxe is, but if I had to choose between being hit by something called a goreaxe or a frog, I know which one I would bet would hurt less.  Stikkit's Grot Bow does 1 damage too, and has the same effective range as Jabbertoad.  Jean d'Arc was shot in the neck by an arrow at Orleans, and the French troops saw it as divine providence that she was able to rejoin the fight afterward.  I'm willing to bet that she'd have gotten far less glory if she'd survived a frog to the neck instead.  For comparison sake, what are some other heinous things that do exactly as much damage as a frog?
  •  A Fyresteel Axe (Tefk)
  • Two Fyresteel Axes (Maegrim)
  • A Charged Tempest Blade (Rastus)
  • A Nighthaunt Blade, or Club (Chainrasps)
  • Magical Flames (Horrors)
Let's take a look at that last one, shall we.  Being set on fire is exactly as painful as being hit with a frog.  A frog.  "Oh, but the frog is acidic!" shouts Mr. Wafflecone, freshly back from his foray to the concession stand for a Bud Light Lime and some Fritos.  Sure, the frog is covered in acid; it says so right on the card. But it's covered in acid like my green salad with lemon vinaigrette is covered in acid - you'll note that it also says on the card that the frog is meant to be a snack.  Mollog is throwing his version of a fresh grapefruit at you, and it's doing as much damage as a Savage Bite from a trained wardog.  


Don't play this card. (If you think Mollog needs a ranged 3 attack give him Shadeglass Darts or Dark Darts instead).


  1. It's a very low strength attack, which means the knockback is more likely to go off than if he thumps with club, which tends to kill things outright. Useful to score the new knockback objective against low wound stat warbands, but yeah the auto-discard does royally suck.

    1. Yeah, I actually wrote this before i realized that you couldn't score Get Thee Hence if you killed the target. I suppose that is one decent use. I'd still go with mutating maul instead though.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cardiology: Hunting Aspect

Decision: Should You Play Hunting Aspect? TL;DR: It really sucks to say this, but probably not.
Factor: The Numbers At first glance, this card is incredible.  Numerically, it's out of this world; no other card gives four characteristic points.  Essentially, Hunting Aspect combines Great Fortitude, Great Strides, and Enchanted Collar into a single card.  Let's take a closer look at what those stat points actually do for us.

To start, Hunting Aspect hits us with +2 move.  Lighaen - the only legal target for Aspect - starts with 5 move, so Aspect will bump him to a truly impressive seven move.  This allows you to move Lighaen from almost anywhere on the board to almost anywhere else.  This point is probably better made with a visual representation.  Let's say your beginning setup looks something like this - with your hunters represented by the blue circles and Lighaen positioned in the back. 

This kind of setup would allow us to play very aggressively with the hunters, all…

Cardiology: Double Feature! Branching Fate/One Fate

Decision: Should You Play Branching Fate/One Fate? TL;DR: Do you stride far? Then you should probably be playing Branching Fate.  Other warbands with high dice counts should consider playing Branching as well.  If you can manage to regularly roll 3 magic dice on spell attacks, One Fate is quite good.  Otherwise, pass on it.
Prelude:Double Feature! This week we're taking a look at two different cards for Cardiology; rest assured this departure from standard operating procedure is for good reason.  Namely, the math required to analyze One Fate is very similar to the math required to analyze Branching Fate.  We couldn't see a reason to stretch the same work into two articles, so this week you're getting a two-for-one special.
Factor: Warband In order to score either of the Fate objectives, you've got to be rolling three or more dice on attack or defense.  Rolling three dice on attack is pretty common (defense - less so), but some warbands definitely come naturally better eq…

Special: The WurmStat

Special: The WurmStat TL;DR:Don't count on the damage reduction saving your "tail" very often - but it is a nice bonus that adds to the already solid survivability of the Trichinosis Team.
A Mistake and A Warning Oops, wrong button.
In our last article, we mentioned that there might be some times when it's beneficial to put Substance Siphon on Fecula, even if it didn't increase the number of dice that she's rolling on defense.  We arrived at that conclusion by doing a few specific calculations on attacks and defenses and factoring in the damage reduction ability of the Wurmstat.  In these specific cases, there were very slight improvements to the average damage Fecula would take against those attacks.  Upon realizing this, we got very excited to see how much benefit Fecula (and the other Barfbois) would gain from switching to dodges against all attacks.  So we did a prodigious amount of math.
As it turns out, switching from blocks to dodges is a bad idea if you d…